Sharon met the four volunteers at the door of her father’s hospital room one April afternoon. Her father, Len, was in one of the Palliative Care rooms of the hospital. The volunteers had been requested to honor her father, a veteran, for his military service with a brief military pinning ceremony.
While in the hall outside of her father’s room, Sharon told one of the volunteers that the room was packed and that there wasn’t any more space for even one person to stand in his room. She said if they’d wait for a minute she’d ask a few people to stand in the hall and watch the ceremony from there.
Soon, with a little bit of confusion and a lot of, “Pardon me”, “Excuse me.”, “I’m sorry.” and one “Oops”, the four volunteers threaded their way through the crowd of family members to get near Len’s bedside and begin the ceremony. Even though Len was in a deep sleep the facilitator introduced himself and explained what he and his cohorts were going to do.
Before beginning, the facilitator asked if any of the family members would want to perform the actual fastening of the pins to Len’s garment. This is a significant gesture because when someone enlists, the family is left behind and most likely experiences separation anxiety. And the same is most likely experienced by the one who enlisted. By fastening the pins to the garment the family experiences the joy of honoring their loved one just as the loved is experiencing the joy of being honored.
Len’s grandson, Chris, serving in the Air Force stationed at Grand Forks Air Force Base, had flown in to be able to witness the ceremony honoring his grandpa. Sharon said Chris idolized his grandpa and always said when he grew up he was going to enlist in the Air Force.
The family insisted that his grandson, Chris, should be given the honor of fastening the pins.
The ceremony began and soon it was time for Chris to fasten the pins. He crouched down at his grandpa’s bedside so that he was eye to eye with his hero and carefully fastened the American Flag pin to his garment above the heart. Then the Branch of Service pin was fastened below the flag. After he finished, he hesitated then put his head down on his grandpa’s chest and softly said, “I love you, Grandpa.” He stood up and took a half step back. Visibly holding back tears he stood at attention. There was a stillness, a deep sense of oneness prevailed in the room for those few moments.
The ceremony continued as one of the volunteers read the certificate and presented it to Len’s wife. The volunteers then individually crouched down to be at eye level to Len and thanked him for his sacrifice to our country.
Five family members in Len’s family were veterans. The facilitator asked if the veterans present would want to join our volunteers in saluting their dad/grandpa/brother to conclude the ceremony. All agreed. They unanimously voted Chris to command the salute since he was active duty.
All of the veterans formed around the foot of Len’s bed. Chris stared at his grandpa, took a deep breath and barked, “A-ten-shun!” The men snapped to attention.
“Present Arms!”
They brought up their right hand and held their salute. Five seconds later Chris commanded, “Order Arms” and their hands came down to end the salute. Chris returned to his grandpa and again crouched down and laid his head on his grandpa’s chest saying, “I love you, Grandpa……I love you.” There were sniffles, and tears were wiped. The salute concluded the ceremony.
There is no calendar and no clock at the end of life. So for FAIRHOPE Hospice, every holiday is celebrated when appropriate. Celebrating a holiday brings a sense of normalcy to a family in crisis. The volunteers were part of FAIRHOPE’s “We Honor Veterans” program and in this case they singularly celebrated Veterans Day in a hospital room on a nice April afternoon with one veteran and his family. It was good.
FAIRHOPE is grateful to all veterans for their sacrifice and we will celebrate their service and their life regardless of the hour, the day, or the month.
